FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
