eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
