It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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