oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just gift wrapped bread.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
