I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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