Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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