im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
