Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
