Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize