my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
