I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
