I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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