We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
