You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
