God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
