Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
