My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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