I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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