Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
