all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Holy sore nipples Batman
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
