East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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