Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Randomize
