This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
