I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
