at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
