2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How naked do you want me to be?
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