Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
