She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Mom said you looked used
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I love you.
Bad choice
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