I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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