omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
