The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
