Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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