i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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