omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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