The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i've created a new STD.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
