i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
