Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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