He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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