Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
