No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
