I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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