When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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