hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
