were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
