My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
