Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize