I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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