I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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