remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
