My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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