I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
