i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
