...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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