All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
