Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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