Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
