it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that's an acceptable place to lick
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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