thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
