I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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