sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
