Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
