I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
