That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
