i don't plan on having that self control this summer
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
