May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
