Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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