Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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