Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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